The State Of Matter
By Holly Brown, aged 13
Before everything mattered, even ridiculously stupid little things, like what colour my room was. At the time, it was baby blue. But now, not even my name matters. Nothing much ever did matter. I think it was after I lost hope, mattering faded. I will tell that story, quickly. But you won’t like it.
I used to be human, I used to think human. I cared. I cared what that gorgeous boy who trained with me thought, and I cared what that man who monitored our progress thought. I cared where and when I would die.
I was cornered, I couldn’t do anything! I had no choices. I tell myself that, but if I believed it…why do I care?
They wanted information. They needed information. They couldn’t go back, until they knew!
‘Everything you have just told me is a complete and utter lie, now tell me the truth and we might both live.’ They had my whole team held at gunpoint, and I cared. Maybe if I didn’t care, I could have…done something! That cute boy who I had trained with was there, and they killed him. Shot him. And it crushed me. And I lost hope.
They slowly slashed away at my team members, for some reason they picked on me! They wanted me to tell them everything. Everything that I didn’t know. I screamed continuously, right into their faces. But they didn’t care. And I envied them for that.
No one ever came, no help, no nothing. I thought someone would, I was wrong. The man who had monitored our progress obviously thought I wasn’t worth saving. None of us were. And that made me furious, because after all those young innocents had lost their lives, I still cared about that. And that alone.